A Collection of Musings

30 Seconds to Mars

2010-09-24T09:05:00.003-05:00

So I've never really listened to 30 Seconds to Mars before. My brother's been a fan for several years. I thought I'd check them out and see why he likes them. They have a good sound overall. I'm not a huge fan of the screaming and there are a couple songs it becomes a bit much. I've listened to about 30 randomly ordered songs from a playlist on youtube. I read on wikipedia that Jared Leto doesn't like to use he previous acting fame for publicity. However... they certainly make use of his good looks in their music videos!

Currently I'm listening to Kings and Queens. I'd already thought this on other songs, but this one in particular reminds me of U2. Not only Jared's voice, but the whole feel of the song and social activism message. Although... I definitely prefer U2's message of hope and God to the ambiguous nothingness these guys sing of.

I think music is a great medium to get deep thoughts out to the masses, and make people aware of issues in society and around the world... but it makes me sad to think what their message is. I'm sure they have a large audience... but what are they telling people? Life's hard, there's injustice in the world, we have to make choices, we don't have all the answers, war is awful, people are cruel, life is more than jobs and money... all of those things are true... and I understand that they themselves can't provide answers to those struggles and questions. It's just hard to pose questions and leave people hanging in a place of despair, or even mutual misery when there IS hope, there ARE answers, struggle is NOT in vain. To tell all the people listening that yes, life is hard, things are ugly and unfair.. but this life is not the end.

Bono talks about poverty and war and doesn't pretend to understand or have answers but he submits control to God, to the only One who does have answers and is in control. Hopefully the 30stm boys will come to that same understanding... they ask a lot of thought provoking questions, I hope they find the truth to answer them.

Hurricane and Kings and Queens are my 2 favorite songs so far, I like the way they feel. Here are the links:
30stm - Hurricane
30stm - Kings and Queens

Anyway, that's my thoughts on the band.

Spring Awakening

2010-05-07T08:50:00.001-05:00

My friend and I used to listen to a Musical a Month to expand out repetoire, but we've been slacking. Today I decided to start up again. I'll be honest, the inspiration came from watching Glee and wanting more Lea and Jonathan. So... Spring Awakening it is!

Ok, here are my thoughts on Spring Awakening:

I read the plot on wikipedia and immediately disliked it. It's all about parents not telling their kids important life lessons b/c it's uncomfortable or hard for them to explain... so when their kids mess up and do things the parents don't agree with they are severely punished.

The cold summary makes it go from bad to worse, main characters die, there's lots of sexual exploration, and terrible parenting. It's definitely a "tragedy."

The music humanizes it though. After listening to the soundtrack in correlation to the plot you start to feel and relate to the characters more. It's not just about being provocative on stage, or "edgy." It's really this tragic story of people who lack communication skills and the catastrophic consequences of the ensuing ignorance.

It reminds me both of Rent and Les Mis. Rent b/c of the rock-musical aspect, and the sketchy, raw lyrics. Yet Les Mis b/c it's tragedy after tragedy and you feel like you are watching this slow, inevitable destruction and it could have been prevented!! I think that's the most frustrating part of me, NONE of it had to happen like that!

And sure there are social statements about homosexuality, and promiscuity outside of marriage... but it actually does a good job showing the negative consequences to those things. The point, as with a lot of theatre, is not to define the "correct" answer for you.. but make you think and give you characters that you relate to who make mistakes, or align on the 'other side' of what you believe.

It's challenging to think and process through things. I LIKE that it makes you think. So much of entertainment can be taken at face value.. and I'm sure Spring Awakening can be too. I certainly don't agree with a lot of things, but I think the motive or the underlying issues are real and deserve thought. I know where I stand on the issues presented, but I guess I hope it has forced other patrons to examine for themselves some of these deeper, darker issues.

That got really serious. I'm just so much more impressed that I was expecting to be. I should stop being surprised by this... I feel like so many theatre productions do this to me, yet I still go into each one merely to be entertained.

So.. read the plot on wikipedia, find a copy of the soundtrack (youtube has it) or go see the show... let me know what your take-away is!

What's in a blog?

2009-10-05T21:50:00.006-05:00

There is unspoken pressure to write blogs in a certain way. I don't mean that they are all written in the same style, but once you have a style it must be lived up to. This is even more true when you start getting followers, especially when they make affirming comments to your posts.

I think this is why my blog sits idle for months between posts. It started as random deep thoughts I'd come up with while mindlessly drafting at work, or when I couldn't sleep at night. Then I tried to be funny (hopefully you can at least distinguish the humorous ones from the rest or I've REALLY failed.) There was that set of chapter reviews as I read Bono's interview biography... still haven't finished it btw. And then... then... it all just stopped. My roommate likes to point out that I am at the bottom of her link list b/c my last update was so long ago. This post might all be for you Kac.

So I got to thinking... what should I write about? Do I go deep and serious? Pulling out metaphysics and theology... challenging readers with biblical truths I myself have been learning... Should I hold off posting until I can recite a cleverly worded anecdote about an odd happening in my usually ordinary life? Maybe I start to share a hobby or talent and make that my focus... constantly trying to out-do myself!

I find that I can't settle on any one of those common blog themes. I'm not always super deep... yet in the middle of girl's night last Friday I was able to tie The Vampire Diaries to CS Lewis in a convincing juxtaposition about stories of redemption... maybe I should blog about that. Or... hmm.. off the cuff I don't have any amusing stories to tell... I saw Fame last weekend.. I could blog about that, or how much I love the music in Glee... or come up with theories for Fringe... or I could review the audiobooks I listen to at work. Even more personal I could show photos of my 25th birthday party and the level I went to accomplish my "sweet and savory" theme. Then I could continue in that vein and discuss the latest songs I'm learning on piano, how I mean to play my cello more, how I stumbled across my old high school drama stuff which rekindled a theatrical flair. Or how I started crying during the ballet portion of the Fame finale b/c dance can be so moving and I miss it.

Maybe I just settle on comments about the weather changing and pointing out God's creation, because the colors really are beautiful.. and the anticipation of Christmas is already starting to coil in the bottom of my stomach (and at Target.)

But, here we are... I've managed to fill an adequate length entry without really saying anything and certainly without anything worthwhile. I will continue to muse of what form my blog should take on, for you see... that is an inherent flaw of mine. I can't ever just spout things off, they must be carefully thought through before escaping from my lips, or in this case, my fingers. Trust me... I've proof-read even this eclectic update. :)

Loyalty.

2009-06-11T12:00:00.000-05:00

When I was waiting in the check-out line at HyVee I noticed this festive display. All red, white and blue... very 4th of July... you know the type. I had nothing else to do and having been to the grocery store only last night I'd already perused the tabloid headlines, so I took a closer look at the patriotic stand and what, you may be wondering, were they selling?... 4th of July Conversation Hearts! yes... those little, normally pink, boxes illustrating pastel shaped candy that spout 'I Love You' or 'XOXO' or the more modern 'Text Me' were now providing that same level of sweet endearment for another holiday.

My emotions were a bit befuddled as I stood there; wondering why it was taking so long in the 'Express' aisle. Conversation Hearts are a Valentine's Day candy... I couldn't help feeling a little betrayed that here they were boldly (as they had done away with the pastels in favor of red, white and blue) proclaiming "USA" and "Brave One." Then a stroke of irony hit that forced a smirk across my mouth. Feeling betrayed by candy. Candy that was patriotically supporting its country. This candy wasn't committing treason, which I had wanted to acuse it of at first, at least not according to Definition 1 at dictionary.com. (I had to check my semantics to be sure.) Definition 2... possibly. Definition 3... most definitely! Conversation Hearts have indeed acted in a treacherous manner, betraying my confidence and breaching the faith I had in them to be loyal to one holiday and one holiday alone.

Sadly this is not the first time I've noticed this. Peeps. Those little marshmallow, coated in sugar, chick-shaped sweets. Easter! Easter is the holiday they are associated with. Several years ago Peeps branched out and started making bunny shaped treats as well. While bunnies don't say "peep" as chicks do I let it slide since bunnies are even more iconic of Easter than chicks. (Neither having anything to do with Jesus I might point out... but that's another day entirely) I draw the line at; Christmas, Halloween and Valentine Peeps. For those holidays they have no place. You dont' see them selling mint m&ms at Easter! (although... I'd probably buy them if they did... hypocrat that I am) All the same, the priciple of the matter stands.

I know the economy's rocky, I know companies have marketing departments to hatch these 'brilliant' ideas. In regards to the Conversation hearts... they aren't that good to begin with, the only reason I end up buying them at Valentine's is b/c I've had a year to delude myself into thinking that they are better than they are. As they say, absense makes the Conversation Heart grow fonder.

This has been my stand for Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Loyal Candy.

What's new?

2009-06-04T19:33:00.003-05:00

I read on Chris and Katie's website/blog about him feeling convicted not having a good answer to the "what's new?" question so I thought I'd better come up with something myself. This is just a brief overview of the goings-on in my life these days...

-Studying for the LEED AP exam. I take the test tomorrow... hopefully I will pass, otherwise I'm down $400. ouch. (should be studying right this moment, but I took a blog break) I've learned that being 2 years out of college, I just don't have the stamina to study like I used to! Where has the girl who stayed up 'til 3, 4, 5, 6... all night... gone? I guess it's not really a bad thing that I can't pull repeated all-nighters. It's a marvel of God's ingenuity regarding the human body that while we require sleep we can endure weeks, even months averaging 4-6 hours of sleep a night. Moral of that story... if you like to sleep, don't go to architecture school.

-Kaci's moving in!! Which means I've been moving stuff OUT of her future room. However, with studying I haven't completed the task prior to her stuff coming in. Oops! Fortunately (that sounds mean) but fortunately she's not actually living here until July 1st, so I have another few weeks to get things organized. I'm super excited to have a housemate though! Plus, today she brought a futon which fits perfectly in the sun room. I bought some over priced 'patio' (Christmas) lights and rearranged a bit... I have a few more projects to work out but soon the sun room will officially be the pineapple room (tasteful, I promise; no pun intended).

-British TV. My new addiction. Can I blame Jane Austen, posthumously for this? Possibly... Ever since the JAMM Session I can't seem to pull away from all things England! That... and Spooks is a pretty good show. I signed up for Netflix and they have a whole category of "British TV" it's brilliant! Which transitions nicely into how I keep incorporating British colloquialisms into my everyday speech. I'm tempted to end sentences with 'yea?' and 'lovely.' has become my new favorite acquiescent reply. (stop me when I start adding unnecessary 'u's to words) Plus, I find when I read out loud I tend to slip into an accent, not great, but the best I've got. Maybe it's a sign that I'm supposed to go to England? Or marry a Brit? Or... who knows yea? ;)

-My brother and I are headed to Seattle at the end of the month. His best friend, our childhood neighbor, is getting married out there. Brother didn't think it through very far since he's only 20 and can't rent a car or anything, so I'm coming with him! I'm really looking forward to it. I've never been there, unless you count the airport, briefly, which I don't. We'll visit the Space Needle, fish market, coffee shop, and spend a day traveling around to the coast. Definitely have to stop in Forks! I know.. I'm one of those. But the setting really is beautiful based on photos I've seen, and while I do want a cliche 'Welcome to Forks' photo... I more want to see the ocean, and the rain-forest. Two things so close together and so uncommon to an Iowan. Like I said, I'm really looking forward to the trip!

-Summer connection group (bible study) starts up this weekend after a month off. Pretty excited about this too! I really love my group. The summer is always more laid back. We still go to church and sit together on Saturday night, then eat together, but instead of diving into the Word like during the school year we just hang out and enjoy one another, catch up and fellowship. While I liked the time off during May I've missed keeping up with everyone. I think we're grilling in the park this Saturday. Should be a lovely time!

I should get back to studying... $400 test tomorrow and all.

First Annual JAMM Session

2009-05-25T22:14:00.003-05:00

There are an array of topics I could write about since it's been so long since my last post... yet I've decided to write about the First Annual JAMM Session.

JAMM; Jane Austen Movie Marathon took place Sunday, May 24, 2009. The idea was came as a culmination of several thoughts. First, my friend Jessica and I love Jane Austen books, there seems to be a reference to something Austen every time we hang out. Second, Jessica and I combined happen to own a complete collection of dvds... minus Northanger Abbey since neither of us can get into the atypical gothic novel. Third, it was memorial weekend, which meant 3 days off work, which provided the perfect setting for a movie marathon!

While Jessica was providing most of the movies, I did my part in researching typical English cuisine. As I love cooking/baking anyway I thought it would help our day be more complete. Since this was only the first annual we didn't do anything outlandish and come in costume, or only speak in 1810 English... but having tea and scones didn't seem too much.

As it was Sunday we met up for out America part of the day; coffee stop at Caribou on the way to church. (Great message at Westwind this weekend, I really appreciated that he incorporated memorial day into it) After church we headed back to my place where I started getting lunch ready. I had decided that something simple would be best. So... as much as I would have liked to flex my cooking skills I held off from preparing any Beef Wellington (someday...) and opted instead for Chicken Pasties. Basically like a pot pie but made in a pocket of dough instead of a mini pie, and without the gravy.

I also made the dough using whole wheat flour. It made it a bit more crumbly, but also provided a heartier taste. The pasties were filled with chicken, potatoes, onions and carrots, seasoned simply with salt and pepper (I did add some cayenne to mine later). Popped them in the oven and it was time for the first film to roll!

Early in the week we had discussed an order, Mansfield Park, being our least favorite of the five was to be first. I had just listened to the audiobook earlier in the week to refresh myself, as it's been 3 years for that one. (Librivox.org is a great website! Free audiobooks that are in the public domain; no longer under copyright law) Although it was the second shortest film we would watch it seemed to drag on and on... also, I was so frustrated with the many 'artistic liberties' they had taken that I no longer liked half the characters I had in the book. I wasn't sorry at all when it finished.

We moved on to Sense and Sensibility. The one with Emma Thompson, Kate Winslet, Alan Rickman and Hugh Grant. It's just cast so well! The good characters are so good, and you just empathize right along with them, and the bad characters truly are insufferable! Good show.

Keeping the projector rolling we went right on the our shortest film, Persuasion. I just LOVE this one! Now, I adore Pride and Prejudice, the dialogue is so great in that... yet Persuasion, since reading it 2 years ago, has become a very close second. Maybe it's b/c I'm getting older that I relate more to Anne Elliot... maybe it's just that good. At any rate, I had read the book and watched a version of the movie, as I said, 2 years ago, and I thought the movie was just 'ok.' Jessica introduced me to the most recent movie version a few months ago and it has become an instant favorite in my dvd collection. While Anne remains a bit forlorn and plain they have finally cast a Captain Wentworth worthy of the accolade "most handsomest man in the navy!" Luisa Musgrove bestows upon him. Rupert Penry-Jones makes an excellent Captain Wentworth! This movie is always a joy to watch, I wish it wasn't so short... just when I really start to get into it, it's suddenly almost over.

Never fear! We valiantly pressed on. We did break for tea (mint, both of our favorites) and scones (thanks for the recipe Kate!) and my homemade lemon curd spread. Emma was next on the list. This is definitely the lightest, most warmly colored film. Every outfit they have Gwenyth in is so feminine and pretty, and the interior design of the rooms looks like a catalog. The shots constantly create these beautiful pictures for the scenes to occur in. All in all a great follow up to Persuasion, which was beautiful for the love finally, finally allowed. Emma is humorous and pretty and all around lovely to watch.

There's no other way of saying it... we saved the best for last. Pride and Prejudice, Austen's crowning achievement. I'm more a fan of the 5.5 hour BBC version... yet the newer one with Kiera Knightley and Matthew Macfadyen has grown on me. As we didn't want to double the length of the marathon we opted for the 2 hour version. :) While the BBC version is so near word for word the new one remains quite faithful to the book as well. A few more liberties are taken, but so they must be to condense it as they did. The most memorable lines are still delivered as written originally, and I don't know if the 'country atmosphere' may be more accurately portrayed in this one than in the BBC's. Either way... Darcy and Elizabeth overcome both their pride and their prejudice by the end.

The day was a complete success! Capitol, capitol!

Bono-fide Ch. 2

2009-03-04T13:11:00.002-06:00

Ahh Chapter 2... not as stirring as Chapter 1 for me, but I still enjoyed it!

I really admire this man who lives this mix of celebrity and normal, yet on either side he freely transitions to his faith and humanitarian convictions. Maybe it takes the confidence of a international star to be able to say exactly what you think and feel about things. Maybe not, I know I don't often feel as free as I should to speak my mind, to speak truth.

If it was me interviewing Bono... as soon as he mentioned God I'd pick up that trail and take it as far as I could. I just love having spiritual discussion with people. Unfortunately the writer doesn't seem as intrigued with that as with other topics. Which, is fine, he wrote the book, not me. Still, I relish in even the bits of sentences Bono gives that provide a deeper understanding of his relationship with God.

I love to see how universal God is. Whether it's someone in Thailand or China or Ireland or even Iowa, USA God is the same. I enjoy so much hearing people throughout the world talk about their experience with God, with the saving grace of Jesus Christ. It's so beautiful!

Anyway, I think my favorite line from the chaper came right at the end. The interviewer asks Bono "what are you?" as he's been oscillating between his life as a regular guy and that of a celebrity. Bono begins his answer saying, "I am a scribbling, cigar-smoking, wine-drinking, Bible-reading man." I love that, such freedom and security in who he is, and more importantly, who he is in Christ.

I bought the new U2 album yesterday, and asked my co-worker if he was going to get it. He said he never cared for U2 b/c he found them too preachy. I must confess.. it is probably their being 'too preachy' that attracts me most. There is such raw, honest, depth to the songs. Bono talked about that in chapter 2 as well, saying they are a bit different than other bands.. yet they've been around b/c the music is the kind you take and listen to again and again when it's dark and you're alone. It's familar and real. I get that... its what keeps me coming back.

U2 - $3.99!

2009-03-03T12:13:00.001-06:00

So today's the day! The new U2 album No Line on the Horizon comes out! Yay!!!

A friend on facebook (Todd Wallace) had this link as his status. It's the mp3 file version of the album from Amazon.com for only $3.99! How awesome is that!?

Here's the link; share the love.

http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B001S6HZTE/ref=dm_ty_alb

Bono-fide U2 :)

Bono-fide Ch. 1

2009-03-02T14:04:00.001-06:00

My half.com copy of the Bono biography came this weekend!

Unfortunately most of my time was already spoken for, but I did have enough to read the first chapter. I think, b/c of an impatient sense to know for sure that I was right I was expecting to kind of skim the book a bit... just seeking out the bits where he spoke about his faith. I think I wanted to have him justified, so as to justify myself, that he's for real a believer. Even though I 'know' he is... the doubting Thomas in me wanted to hear it from the horses mouth.

Boy oh boy did I get more than I bargained for! Like I said I'm only through chapter 1. There wasn't even that much about his faith, but some. However I was convicted. THAT certainly was not something I was expecting! I wanted to read this book b/c I like U2, and I think Bono is a believer who's doing good work with the excessive amount of money he has. I did not think that his life would convict me of a judgmental heart, yet that's what happened!

I know I have issues with control and pride.. but I really thought I was semi-ok at the judgmental thing... but then I realized that my standard was from comparing myself to other people who are more judgmental. (see the irony there... yep... I do too... NOW!) So here I am just waiting for this rock star to disappoint me... really I was, I wanted to find enough in the book to prove to myself that all those times I told people he was a believer were in fact true.. but I was expecting stories of drunkenness, and general debauchery and greed and.. basically all the things that we equate with the rockstar lifestyle.

They were glimpses... mention of a hangover, occasional swear words... well right there my pride felt vindicated! Bono spoke about God in the midst of his foul-mouthed quotations. Yet.. as the interviewer asked about his father Bono mentions how his father lost his faith, if he ever had it. How Bono continued to just be real and talk about his own faith to him, sharing scriptural passages, and prayers... just his life. His father, though he never turned to God... was impressed, and intrigued.. not by his son being a global super star but by his faith.

That's where it hit.

This man, this rock star... who knows he isn't perfect, knows of the sins he has committed, continues to live by faith. I found myself being convicted by my judgemental attitude, judging this man who is my brother. He speaks of his sin, not with pride, not relishing in them.. but he is able to move beyond them. It's like he accepts that he's a sinner, that he isn't perfect, and won't be this side of heaven. yet he goes on with life. Continues to move forward, continues to make music, continues to strive to care for those in the world who can't care for themselves...

So often I let sin in my life debilitate me. I get so caught up in guilt and failure that I can't let it go, can't move past it. While we talked about this at bible study Saturday night... it took the words of an Irish rock star for it to sink in. While I live my day to day life generally concerned about what I should do and didn't or what I shouldn't do and did... I would be better be about enjoying God, and basking in His mercy and grace... then I too will be free to love and serve those around me.

Wow.. all that from Chapter 1!!!

The new U2 album comes out tomorrow!!! Who's excited?! This girl!

Half Nelson (Ryan Gosling continued...)

2009-02-09T14:07:00.000-06:00

In continuing my profiling/evaluation of Ryan Gosling, Half Nelson was the next film on the list. I approached it with mixed feelings. He was nominated for an academy award for his role, yet it's about a an inner city teacher hooked on crack... hmm.

Overall, it wasn't a awful as I thought it could be. There were not big gang fights, no overdoses, not too many overly strung out crack heads... the whole thing just seemed kind of calm, laid back, as if this really is day to day and we are privileged a glimpse of it. The story focuses on Ryan's character, history teacher Dan Dunne, and one of his students 13 year old Drey. During the day Mr. Dunne teaches history not by the curriculum but in his own way. This proves more affective and some of the students engage and actually retain what they learn. He, however, feels like it's a near hopeless cause and spends his nights stoned. Drey catches him one day getting high after hours in a bathroom at the school, and they begin this weird friendship both seeing the perils the other is in and both trying to help the other survive them.

Drey comes from a broken home, her dad isn't around, her mom works all the time and is never around, her brother is in jail for dealing drugs.. and Frank, this head drug dealer her brother worked for is slowly trying to coax her to dealing for him too. Ironically Frank is Mr. Dunne's dealer and so he tries to step in for Drey. Things go from bad to worse when Mr. Dunne has a bad couple days and isnt' around. Frank gets Drey to make a few deliveries for her, and one of them happens to be to Mr. Dunne. That's I guess the climax of the movie... Drey seems to realize for herself where the road of dealing for Frank leads... and Mr. Dunne seems to have hit bottom. The movie ends with him making an effort to clean his apartment and shave... I guess implying that he's going to attempt to clean up?

Ok... so I watched the movie half hoping something big would happen to shake both the main characters up and half hoping that nothing big would happen b/c that's really cliche. So nothign big does happen... I couldnt' quite have any sympathy for Mr. Dunne either! I mean, yes it would suck to teach inner city kids and continue to see them amount to nothing... but he is doing good, there are little things that indicate that he's changing a few lives... but he's too strung out to realize it. His character is just frustrating. The girl, you feel bad for.. she's smart, she could be one that gets out.. you can't really dislike her for her poor choices b/c she's only 13 and it's the authority figures in her life that lead her the wrong way.

The whole thing just ends with no real promise one way or the other.. both characters will continue to struggle through and eventually break free or succumb...

I'm not sorry I watched the movie.. it's easy for me to forget about people in these situations.. and its even easier for me to have no compassion for them. So I guess the moments where they characters are so human helped me to empathize with them, which is good since we're called to love all people. Am I recommending it to you? No, but I'm not telling you not to watch it if you so desire either.

Then... after some housework I watched The Notebook, and cried a lot! And kind of felt sorry for myself... I kept thinking; 'I don't need an amazing epic love story... I'd just take any love story!' And at the same time I was thinking; 'I don't ever want to fall in love b/c then there is just more people to lose.' Sometimes I have a hard time thinking its worth it when there will be so much pain... even though I know that the joy/love will counter it. Just goes back to my aversion to emotions... Silly, silly, silly!

Well... I hope this swallowed up a bit of your monday! :)

Ryan Gosling

2009-02-09T06:28:00.000-06:00

One of my favorite things to do is to follow the rabbit trails on IMDB.com. It's kind of like practicing to play 6 degrees :) Anyway... I was thinking about my favorite movies that I don't own... which you'd think.. duh, if they're your faves you should own them! Problem is that most of my faves are actually decent movies so they never go on sale, therefore, I never buy them. One of these movies is Remember the Titans, maybe it's just b/c it was the first 'sports/inequality' movie I saw... or maybe it really is one of the better ones, at any rate I seem to compare all the other-esque movies to it. Well.. while thinking about it I thougth about Ryan Gosling.. so I imdb-ed him... I haven't seen anything he's been in since RtT. But I fully enjoyed him in that. I do however remember where I'd first seen him... in Young Hercules. You can start laughing now... but I totally loved that show, and would come home and watch it after school everyday... simply b/c Ryan was so attractive! Well.. that and Greek mythology has always been interesting to me. At any rate... I was looking up who else was in teh show and at the top of imdb was a link to an episode on hulu.com... low and behold... the WHOLE series is on hulu. And yes... I confess, I started watching it! Was is just as lame as it was before, heck yes! Same feel as Xena and the kevin Sorbo Hercules. However... you can totally start laughing harder now, b/c it's fully justified... I still found Ryan Gosling quite attractive!! Which makes me a TOTAL creeper b/c he's 17/18 when filming the show!!!

It makes me want to watch The Notebook, Lars and the Real Girl and anything else he's been in now.. just b/c he's older in those... and... in real time... he's 28, that's not creepy at all! so there.. that's my confession, my new celeb fixation is Ryan Gosling, no matter if he's 18 or 28 :)

for Narnia... soundtrack

2009-02-09T06:21:00.002-06:00

I truly truly do love the Narnia soundtrack! The Aslan theme is so great! I mean it's big, majestic and grand.. yet it's beautiful and gentle, and very full and complex, but easy to listen to. It's strong and valiant, makes me want to cry. Cry out of joy, and honor, and admiration, and love and longing... ironically it makes me smile for those same reasons. Invokes in me feelings of strength beyond myself, as well as a perfect contentment to stay behind and follow. Ok... so I might be projecting a bit of my feelings towards God onto the music.. but I really can envision or procure all of those things from the music while hearing it as I meditate on God.

It's not dead!

2008-12-16T17:20:00.002-06:00

At the urging of my dear friend Kaci I'm posting this to let you ALL know that I'm not letting the blog die, I have just been swamped with work the last two weeks... plus with the holidays. Sorry, but coming to some formal resolution to my random thoughts has just not been a priority lately.

I have had so much going on to blog about, but nothing that I've had any time to fully dwell on. Like what you ask?

-Twilight... books 2 & 3 and Midnight Sun (Edward's perspective)

-Robert Pattinson... he acts, sings, plays the piano and guitar, is British... plus... after watching a few interview on youtube... he's rather funny too. Just a down to earthy type guy cast as Edward Cullen, aka the perfect man... or so most teenage girls think.

-Home decorating... I bought my first house in October and am still not 100% through unpacking and decorating yet

-Car accidents... my 24 year untainted vehicle record has been broken.. not once, not twice... 3 times!! in one month! ugh.

-Dancing... LOVE IT!!! I'd put off seeing Step Up 2 b/c let's face it.. the storyline was going to be lame and the acting pretty lousy. However! What I had not planned on was the stellar dancing!! I have a total dance-crush on Robert Hoffman!

umm... I think that might be it for now... I'll try to expound upon at least a couple of these items in the next few days... but the main point for you to know is that THIS BLOG IS NOT DEAD!!!

(how was that Kac?)

A Change in the Twilight...

2008-11-24T09:39:00.002-06:00

While less than a week ago I had yet to even crack the cover to Twilight, I am now completely engrossed with the sequel. I've gotten past my ranting and raving about the inappropriateness of the books for teen girls. I still see much harm in young girls reading them, however, for myself, no longer being a teenage girl, I feel free to read and enjoy! Which, I am most eagerly doing.

By the end of Twilight I still had to admit that Bella just doesn't act like a high school girl. Edward, being 90+ in years, I understand, but Bella... truly only 17, it was hard to find her character convincing. Fortunately, after years of grooming an over-active imagination I am able to suspend that aspect of her character and allow the rest of the story to flood in.

While neither book has an intense, action-oriented plot.. there is enough suspense to draw you in and hold you fast 'til the end. So, here you find me at work Monday... a bit tired having stayed up far too late reading New Moon, the second in the series. With only 100 pages to go I am just coming over the peak of the climax. In Twilight, chapter breaks coincided less with cliffhangers, not so in New Moon! This makes it quite hard to put it down.. clever really ;) Even this morning, I greedily attempted to devour the last of the current chapter I was on while my car defrosted. I managed, but now the book sits closed and still on the passenger seat.. waiting for 5pm to role around so I can zip home and finish it!

I'm so glad Thanksgiving is the week and I'm taking Friday as a vacation day, also that there are only a total of four books in the series... I don't know if I can continue to be so enticed by these books while needing to be awake and productive at work! As the books get better, my resolve to turn in early and get appropriate amounts of sleep is starting to falter.

More on the movie next time!

The Bravery

2008-11-21T08:29:00.002-06:00

I've been hearing this song on Pulse 99.5... and at the start it instantly reminds me of the Doors.. but later it reminds me of U2. I kept waiting each time I heard it for them to announce the artist. Last night, I finally learned that it's The Bravery. Anyone else heard this song? "Believe" by The Bravery... let me know if you hear Jim Morrison and Bono in there ;)

This was a really short entry...

Oh! I finished Twilight, so I'll write more about that later. I am going to see the movie tonight. Maybe I'll wait to review both together... Again, sorry about the rant yesterday, I have actually enjoyed the book! My cynical side is leery of the false hopes it creates, but part of me likes that it's so idyllic and satisfying More to come...

Twilight

2008-11-20T16:01:00.002-06:00

I'm currently 4/5 of the way through Twilight, the first book of the teen vampire romance series. Why I decided to read it? I'm not sure, probably b/c everywhere I went I heard people talk about it, or saw it advertized, plus the movie's coming out. I am definitely a book first, then movie kind of girl. Anyway, I'm reading it. I feel a bit of a rant coming on regarding my thoughts towards the book... so be warned! I promise not to give away any of the plot (besides the obvious), probably b/c there really isn't a plot until the last 150 pages of the book anyway!

Hmm... I guess I'll start by saying I get it! I fully get why teenage girls LOVE this book! It's pure fantasy written down, not just in genre, but true earnest teen-girl fantasy! Let me explain what I mean. Bella, the main character, who's perspective the book is written from, is a 17 year-old girl who comes to live with her father in Washington state, after previously living with her mother in Phoenix, AZ. In Phoenix, she attended a huge school, was never popular, certainly not with the boys! However, all this changes when she gets to Forks, Washington. She is instantly befriended by several boys, as well as the seemingly popular girls.

The instant popularity, or sudden acknowledgement by your peers falls in line with the desire of most teenagers. Even further than that, the most strikingly beautiful (author's word, not mine) boy in the school seems to catch her eye. He seems pre-occupied with her yet cold and distant. Since the story is told from Bella's perspective, you don't know fully what's going through Edward's head, but eventually he does drop the cold shoulder.

As soon as he utters that first hello she's completely hooked, he seems just as taken with her, though still warring against himself to keep his distance. Over the next few chapters you see her become completely obsessed with the brooding stranger who hides a dark secret. Eventually she discovers that secret, and soon after he confesses to his being a vampire, and the perils that creates for them even being near one another. Yet.. they are both too consumed with the other to be apart so they continue to live on the razor's edge, spending no more than a few hours apart since the moment their love is confessed.

Wow! I remember before I was a Christ follower, I admit it, I let ideas and fantasies about boys I liked in junior high and into high school rule my thoughts! This is just food for the fire!! This is just another 'ok' for girls to idolize some mysterious, brooding guy at school! Who, let's face it, probably isn't broody and mysterious so as to keep those around him safe. No! It's setting girls up to emotionally pour themselves out to boys who could care less about them, girls seem to have this pre-occupation with wanting to be the one to 'fix' the broken boy. To be the only one to get through that mysterious shell, to discover this beautiful person within, and to have him reciprocate all that affection once he's finally able to shed that dark outer layer. IT'S A LIE!

Plus, it is also not good to encourage teens in adolescent relationships to be so engrossed in each other. That's just not healthy, it's too fast, too hormone driven, there is not enough foresight, only moment by moment emotion needing to be gratified.

I read an article on CNN today about the movie, there are thousands of screaming teen girls everywhere Robert Pattinson (the actor who portrays Edward) goes. There was a quote from teh actress playing Bella, saying that the fan-girls would glare at her with hatred b/c she wasn't good enough for Edward, who they had so elevated in their minds! He's not even real!

I myself tend to romanticize things, but romanticizing a mythical creature such as a vampire?! I just can't understand this... it's just flirting with disaster in the minds of all these impressionable girls.

Ok... I think I'm done. Now... I know I don't have many years on these girls, but at 24, I can at least catch myself beginning to idolize a character, or even just the idea or attributes of that character. After taking a step back, sorry to say, but Edward is just not a good choice! He has redeeming qualities, certainly if he were real he would be pitiable, but as he's fictional... he's not what any girl should want.

I will probably finish the book tonight. It has been a quick, amusing diverion of a read... definitely not as amazing as I had hoped, but they can't all be Harry Potter ;)

Book ruiner!!

2008-11-19T08:56:00.002-06:00

I confess!!! I'm a book ruiner. Not for other people... except Lydia, who's the same as me and likes to know the endings ahead of time. It's the same with movies... any story really. I like to have a rough outline to determine if I want to spend my time watching/reading it. Normally if it's sad, or lame I skip it. That may sound horrible, but I'll just get bored and frustrated and feel forced to finish it but won't even care. Unless! unless... the writing is brilliant.

At work I listen to audio books that have been around long enough to void copyright laws. If anyone's interested, google Librovox.org they have volunteers read chapters of books. It's good if you want to catch up on those classics you always intended to read, but just couldn't find the time (or is that just me?) Back to my point, in high school I had read the first couple pages of A Tale of Two Cities a handful of time... 'It was the best of times, it was the worst of times...' you all have heard that much I'm sure. Dickens, being so wordy, is hard to read, or at least stay attentive to. So before I invested my 15 hours of listening I went on wikipedia and read the plot. I won't ruin it for you, no worries, but I had to debate whether it was worth it. His writing is so great, but the story wasn't want I wanted it to be... after a day or two of deciding I went for it.

I still don't think I could ever read the book, I'd never make it, but listening to it made it so much easier to pick up themes and ideas that traversed the entired novel. Beautiful! It is truly beautiful! One of my favorite books now. I could go on.. and I probably will one of these days.

However, I write to confess that, as previously mentioned, I'm reading Twilight... and yet I couldn't stand not knowing the 'fate' of the main handful of characters, hearing bits and pieces of things from those who had already read the book. I made a valiant effort to resist! I gave in, after only about 36 hours (pathetic) and I wikipedia-d the series and skimmed the plot synopsis! That's it, I confess... but now I feel better about reading it, less edgy that all the things I foolishly want/desire for the differenent characters may or may not come true. Now I know, and whether I'm ok with it or not I can be more observant in my reading as it leads to that already existent end.

It would be hypocritical to warn you away from reading the ends of books... but if you can stand the suspense, hold out! Read it for yourself!! I am just not that strong...

Forbidden Fruit

2008-11-18T09:28:00.002-06:00

Why are apples always used to portray 'forbidden fruit'? I mean... if the tree of the knowledge of good and evil were an apple tree... don't you think it would be called the apple tree of the knowledge of good and evil? Clearly it had a different fruit entirely than an apple! I understand that we aren't sure what that fruit is, but couldn't people be a little more creative than just using an apple all the time?

Who was the first person to use that apple in the analogy? B/c they must have been very convincing since it's stuck. I've just started reading Twilight... I know, I know... Anyway, on the cover is a woman's hands offering a red apple which is meant to signify the 'forbidden fruit' of the human girl loving the vampire boy. Enough on Twilight... that will come later.

See, I couldn't even get past the cover of the book without being distracted by the use of an apple masquerading as forbidden fruit!

A First

2008-11-16T09:42:00.000-06:00

I would begin with 'To whom it may concern," but this does not, in fact, concern anyone! At the urging of a friend this is merely a blog started to provide a brief diversion, as well as insight into my constantly over-active mind. Previously when such musings would carry me away I would e-mail them to my best friend in China. She will still be the first to hear the majority of my musings. Her 13 years of friendship have earned her the right to my original raw drafts. You will be getting a refined, edited version.

Does that seem unfair? I hope not, and even if it does, I assure you every book you've picked up has been through revisions prior to publication. That's not to say I have any equality with any writer who has published a book, nor any real aspirations to be such an writer. However, just as a writer of a first work feels nervous at the rejection and criticism of said work, I am feeling a muted sense of anxiety, even in beginning this blog.

To prevent any thoughts of cowardice, and because I told my friend I would...

Welcome to A Collection of Musings.